Excerpt
#1
Chapter Two: Fairy Wings Tied over Her
Sweatshirt
One would think a
man with a name like “Mr. Crow” would look something like a crow: all dressed
in black, hunched and shuffling, with a squawking voice and a beak-like nose,
and maybe, in extreme cases, feathers; but Mr. Crow was nothing like that. He
was a neat, slender man in his forties with an open, boyish face and short
brown hair that made stiff little waves above his high forehead, and whose
smile revealed a prominent gap between his front teeth. Rather than wearing
black, he wore a well-tailored suit in a light conservative gray. Two men, also
in gray suits and looking like burly lawyers, sat at either end of the couch.
When Mother Merry
entered, Mr. Crow was standing, studying the titles on Mother Merry’s
bookshelf.
“Hello!” he said
brightly. “You must be...” he glanced out the open the doorway, remembering the
sign outside the office, “Mother Merry Chaos...? Seriously?”
“Close enough,”
Mother Merry said. “You must be Mr. Crow.”
“I am.”
“What a
coincidence, Mr. Crow, you have the same name as that billionaire fellow from
Crow Industries,” Mother Merry added.
“That is me,
actually,” he said. “One in the same.”
“Well, I’ve seen
his picture in the paper, and I daresay you look just like him. Do sit,” Mother
Merry said, sitting behind her desk. “Now that you are here, how may I help
you?”
“Actually, I was
wondering how I could help you.” Mr. Crow held out his hand, and
one of the burly suits filled it with some papers. “The land on which this abbey
sits is next door to my research facility, which I need to expand. It is my
intent to purchase the abbey and the grounds.” He placed one of the papers on
Mother Merry’s desk, turning it around so she could read it. “This is
the sum we are prepared to offer.”
Mother Merry
peered at the paper for a very long time through her horn-rimmed glasses.
“That’s a lot of
money, Mr. Crow,” Mother Merry said. “I’m afraid there’s no way we could afford
this.”
There was a pause
while Mr. Crow sorted this out. The two gray suits on the sofa glanced at each
other.
“Mother Superior,
you misunderstand,” Mr. Crow said with an uneasy little chuckle. “This is the
sum we intend to pay you.”
Mother Merry
blinked, looked down at the paper again. “Ah. That’s very generous of you, Mr.
Crow, but whatever for?”
Mr. Crow
hesitated again, then spoke very slowly and clearly. “My company would like to
buy Edgecliff Abbey.”
“I see, Mr. Crow,”
Mother Merry said easily. “However, Edgecliff Abbey is not for sale.” She
handed back the papers. “Thank you for stopping by.”
Mr. Crow grinned
his gap-toothed grin as if he’d just gotten a very funny joke.
“Mother Superior,
I suppose you expect me to say that everything is for sale at the right price
-- but I know that is not true. Love, loyalty, and so forth, cannot be bought.
However, Edgecliff Abbey is a cluster of old buildings on thirty-three acres of
land -- and those, most certainly, are saleable items at the right price.”
“No, Mr. Crow,
they are not,” Mother Merry replied. “Buildings and land are what Edgecliff
Abbey is made of, but not what it is. And that is certainly not for sale,
even at the generous amount you have offered.”
Mr. Crow sat,
fastidiously hitching up his pants legs as he did so. “All right,” he said
equably. “Just so we’re both on the same page, here: what, precisely, is
Edgecliff Abbey?”
“A home, Mr. Crow,”
Mother Merry said. “A last refuge for children unwanted anywhere else. You see,
Mr. Crow, Edgecliff Abbey is dedicated to providing a home to children who have
none; but more than that, we are here to mold young girls into women of poise
and virtue--”
At
this moment, a naked wet ten-year-old blonde girl ran pelting down the corridor
past Mother Merry’s open door, shrieking, “NO BATH! NO
“--inner
strength, productive members of society,” Mother Merry continued dauntlessly,
“imbued with traditional values of elegance and decorum--”
From
the hallway came the sounds of a scuffle and some furniture overturning -- the
blonde girl had evidently run out of corridor and been cornered. The group
trotted back the other way past the open door, the tall nun and the four other
girls ferrying the struggling blonde girl back to the bath.
“NO
“--modesty,
piety, proper etiquette, and good citizenship,” Mother Merry finished.
“So I see,” Mr.
Crow said. “Fortunately, it’s only the land that I want.”
“And I am telling
you, Mr. Crow, that you cannot have it.”
Mr. Crow did his
pause-and-smile thing again. The two bruisers in expensive suits shifted
uncomfortably on the couch. “I do not like hearing that phrase, Mother
Superior.”
“How
unfortunate,” Mother Merry replied. “I rather enjoyed saying it.”
“But surely, with
the money I am offering, you can buy a better facility for your children in
another location, someplace not quite so remote, or so run down, or... so in a
place where I want to build.”
“I am quite sure
we could,” Mother Merry said, “but that option is not available to us, Mr. Crow.
All philosophy aside, I meant it when I said the abbey is not for sale. The
founder of this abbey, Hieronymus Edgecliff, deeded this land to the Sisters of
St. Basilia on the condition that we act as caretakers of this property in
perpetuity.”
Mother Merry
gestured to the portrait of Hieronymus Edgecliff that hung on the far wall. It
was an odd painting; the mutton-chopped Hieronymus had a startled look on his face,
as if the portrait were painted from the point-of-view of an oncoming train.
“The Abbey and
its grounds are still property of his estate, and the terms of his will were
judged valid and legally binding. The Sisters of St. Basilia are not the
owners, we are merely stewards.”
Mr. Crow shifted
more comfortably in his seat, and smiled again. “I am familiar with the
Edgecliff estate,” he said. “For the past four years, I have been in contact
with them, attempting to purchase this property. However, at each turn, I was
-- thwarted by their insistence that the sale of the property could only
be authorized by the legal stewards of the grounds. And who are these stewards?
I asked. They answered: An obscure order of nuns who had not set foot on the
property for fifty years, and had no plans of ever returning. Now, imagine my
-- delight when I learned that the Sisters of St. Basilia had returned
to Edgecliff Abbey. So now, here sit I, in the presence of the Mother Superior,
with one question: as stewards of this property, do you or do you not have the
legal authority to sell me Edgecliff Abbey?”
Mother Merry
pursed her lips and shrugged. “No idea,” she said. “However, I do know that the
Sisters of St. Basilia swore a sacred oath over a hundred years ago to care for
Edgecliff Abbey, and that I intend to honor that oath, Mr. Crow.”
“Then perhaps you
can enlighten me, because I can not understand why,” Mr. Crow remarked, “Hieronymus
Edgecliff would give over ownership of such a valuable piece of real estate to
an order of nuns.”
“Because here in
these woods,” Mother Merry said, “Hieronymus Edgecliff met an angel.”
Mr. Crow blinked.
“A what?”
“An angel, Mr. Crow.
You know, wings, halo, one of those. There’s a small statue somewhere on the
grounds marking the spot, but bless me if I can find it.”
“That’s a
charming story, Mother Superior,” Mr. Crow said. “However, up until just a few
weeks ago, the Sisters of St. Basilia had abandoned this place. It’s been empty
longer than I have been alive. Not very attentive stewards, I would say.”
“You are exactly
right, Mr. Crow. To our shame, Edgecliff Abbey was ordered closed fifty years
ago and the Sisters had no choice but to leave. I worked and prayed and
petitioned for ten years to get the abbey re-opened, so that we may perform our
duties and fulfill our oath.”
“Just out of
curiosity, Mother Superior,” Mr. Crow asked casually, “exactly who ordered it
closed in the first place? And whose permission did you need to re-open it?”
“The archbishop,
of course,” Mother Merry answered. “The Sisters of St. Basilia are under the
command of the church. Archbishop Beaumont ordered the abbey permanently closed
fifty years ago, following a series of incidents I will not go into. It was his
successor, Archbishop Edwards, who finally gave us permission to re-open it,
and even he took ten years to convince.”
“And -- again out
of curiosity -- what convinced him?”
“I did,” Mother
Merry said simply. “I told him that I would administer the place personally,
and take full responsibility for the abbey’s management.”
Mr. Crow seemed
to chew on this thought for a while, then stood. “Well,” he said brightly, “I
find all this very interesting, but allow me to speak bluntly: I do not believe
in angels, Mother Superior, I believe in what men and women can build with
their own hands. I do not believe that a ‘last refuge’ for a small number of
cast-off children is a better use for this land than a research facility that
will employ hundreds of men and women and generate millions in revenue. I do
not believe that refusing to sell me these grounds based on a dead man’s
delusion is either a wise or responsible action for the stewards of these
grounds to take. Lastly, I do not believe that working against me and being my
enemy is a better choice for you than working with me and being my friend. Just
so that we understand one another, Mother Superior.”
Mother Merry
considered what Mr. Crow had said, and smiled. “Do be careful on your way out,
Mr. Crow,” she said, “the floor’s wet.”
The downstairs
bath: Picture, if you dare, a steamy dungeon of rough-cut wooden beams
interlaced with black iron pipe work, rows of claw-footed bathtubs standing
like cauldrons under high-set windows of frosted glass. Can you hear the soft echoing
slap of small wet feet against the cold concrete floor, the groan and retch of
plumbing brought back to life after fifty years of idleness, the abrasive hiss
of rusty well-water spraying from corroded brass showerheads? Can you smell the
smells of dampness and soap and the feel of coarse towels against skin? And let
us not forget that small sense of victory one gets from getting clean, however
briefly. Once Gretchen had been subdued and returned to the bath chamber, the
rest of bath night went relatively smoothly, and the girls toweled themselves in
little private stalls while Gretchen (grumbling “Gretchen not like bath!”)
shook herself dry, dousing Sister Dominique, who was trying to assist her.
Dinner:
“Um, what’s the
gray slab?” Mopsy asked.
“Salisbury steak,”
the cafeteria lady replied.
“And the gray
gravel?”
“Mashed
potatoes.”
“And the gray
sludge?”
“Spinach.”
“Any other
choice?”
“Hunger.”
Mopsy put out her
tray, and tried not to wince at the dead slaps of food dumped on the plate. The
slice of Salisbury steak was as stiff as a section of ceiling tile.
“What to drink?” the
cafeteria lady demanded.
“How about,”
Mopsy replied, trying to get into the spirit of the thing, “some cloudy lukewarm
tap water from the maintenance-closet sink?”
The cafeteria
lady gave her a cup of instant juice that looked as though someone had mixed
leftover orange, lime, and grape flavors with too much water. The resulting
mixture was a color that Mopsy had no name for.
“Close enough.”
The cafeteria
section was a big room, but there was only one table. Mopsy sat down between
Kiku and Gretchen, the furthest distance she could find from Elsbeth. Everyone
was just staring at their trays.
Kiku closed her
eyes and clapped her hands. “Itadakimasu!” she sang. The other girls
just stared at her.
“OK, I’ll ask,”
Mopsy said at length. “What the deuce was that about?”
“Japanese grace,”
Kiku explained, blushing. “We give thanks to all the work that went into
preparing this food, the farmers for growing our rice and vegetables, the
fisherman for catching our fish. . .”
“The grave-robbers
for digging up this meat,” Elsbeth suggested.
“Is it not a
custom in
Mopsy looked down
at the contents of her tray. “And after, sometimes.”
Nephri prodded
her meat dubiously. “Uncle Shabakto?” she whispered. She looked up shyly.
“Sorry. This is what he looked like after they mummified him.”
Kiku sawed at her
Salisbury steak, succeeding only in wearing the teeth off of her little plastic
knife. “Excuse me, but I always thought American food was, um, softer than
this.”
The only person
with nothing to say was Gretchen, who’d put her head down and was working her
way steadily through her meal, eating with her fingers.
“Gretchen,” Elsbeth
said, “how can you eat this stuff?”
Gretchen looked
up from her plate. “This is food. Not good food, but — food. Food is for
eating.”
Elsbeth pushed
her tray away. “I’d rather go hungry.”
“No,” Gretchen
said firmly. “Elsbeth not rather go hungry.”
Elsbeth sneered.
“What?”
“Elsbeth ever go
hungry?” Gretchen asked. “Five days, six days? Gretchen has. Three winters ago,
before Gretchen come to live in the people-world, bad winter, bad hunting, no
food. Five days, six days, nothing to eat, nothing.” Gretchen had stopped
eating to talk; she looked down at the table, remembering. “So cold. So weak.
Wolf pack finally found a deer carcass, frozen, many-many days old. Pack did
not complain. Even here in the people-world, children go hungry every day. Elsbeth-Gretchen-Kiku-Nephri-Mopsy
don’t have to.” She went back to working on her plate. “Bad food is better than
no food. Gretchen knows.”
The other girls
stared at her a long time. It was the longest speech any of them had ever heard
from her. One by one, they grimly bent their heads to their meals and began to
eat.
After gnawing
down their dinner and keeping it down through sheer force of will, they were
met by Sister Dominique and escorted to the recreation room, where they were to
have free time until bedtime.
“I apologize that
the room is in such disrepair,” Sister Dominique remarked. “We have not yet
gotten round to fixing it up, but it’s on our short list of things to do.”
She tried a
smile, but it wouldn’t stick to her face. Evidently the short list of things to
do was quite long, and there must have been a long list of things to do as well,
which was even longer.
The room had a
threadbare green carpet and some sagging sofas, a few mismatched old lamps, a
pool table with a lumpy felt and no balls or cue sticks, a dartboard with no
darts, a ping-pong table that leaned on bent legs, and an ancient wood console
television that, when turned on, dimmed the lights and blew sparks until Sister
Dominique frantically yanked the cord out of the wall.
“Perhaps we
should retire to the library,” Sister Dominique suggested, shakily, “where we
might find some nice, quiet, non-sparking books to read...”
The library was, each
of the girls decided privately, a pretty cool room: it had a twelve-foot
ceiling and curving walls and a fireplace and padded reading nooks tucked into
cozy corners or under vast windows of antique rippled glass. The curving walls had
built-in bookshelves from floor to ceiling, and a pair of spiral staircases led
to a catwalk halfway up the wall to reach the higher shelves. The rest of the
bookcases formed a dense maze that spread out into several dark and silent outer
rooms. However, like the rest of the abbey, the evidence of fifty years of
abandonment and neglect was obvious: cracked windows, collapsed shelves, and a
musty smell of disuse. There was one other feature in which the library was
obviously, even painfully, deficient.
“Where are the
books?” Mopsy asked.
“Most of the
books were removed when the abbey was first closed,” Sister Dominique
explained. “There are some books still around, here and there. We just need to
look for them. We are acquiring more books but, well... it’s on the rather longer
list of things to do.”
The girls sat
themselves around the reading area.
Mother Merry
poked her head around the doorway, said, “Ah, there you all are,” and walked
in. “I would like to introduce our two volunteers,” she continued. “They will
be staying here throughout the school term, helping out with you girls, and
Sister Dominique and I are thrilled to have them aboard. Miss Nicole, Miss
Dana, do come in.”
The first girl to
walk in was a pink‑and‑blonde angel whose smile was so bright that
anyone within fifty feet of her teeth was obliged to squint. She wore a snug
pink sweater and a pleated skirt, and walked in with such pent‑up energy
she looked as if she might just go critical and burst into spontaneous
cheerleading. 1950’s‑era surfer bands would have fought each other with
chainsaws to write a song about her.
“Hello, I’m Miss
Nicole!” she gushed, her smile traversing the room like a searchlight. “Mother
Superior told me all about you, and I’m so thrilled to meet with such...” Her
gaze panned over the stoic and slightly nauseated faces of the five children,
ending with Mopsy’s disturbing mismatched stare. She stopped cold for a moment,
but recovered. “... such, um, delightful young ladies.”
Elsbeth coughed a
little cough that sounded suspiciously like the word “freaks.”
“I just know
we’ll all get along wonderfully,” Miss Nicole continued, oblivious, “and I
cannot wait for all the adventures we’ll share! And I just know that Miss Dana
is thrilled as well.” Nicole looked about the room, her smile losing a few
megawatts of brightness. “Um, Miss Dana...?”
All eyes scanned
the room for Miss Dana, eventually finding a figure slouched against the other
wall. No one had seen her come in; in fact, it almost felt as if someone had left
the room instead. Miss Dana was waif-thin and chalk-pale, with lank black hair
that fell over her face, leaving only one dark‑lashed blue eye peering
out. 1950’s surfer bands would not have written any songs about her, but maybe
a musical group with the word “death” somewhere in their name might have been
convinced to throw the word “Dana” in among some crashing guitar noises.
“Hi,” she said,
her voice surprisingly soft and feminine.
“Right... Um,
anyway, Sister tells me your TV is broken and you have nothing to do,” Miss
Nicole said with a theatrical little pout. “Well then it’s lucky for you we’re
here, because Miss Dana and I have planned a fun-fun-fun evening!”
Miss Dana looked
over at Miss Nicole with a “we have?” look in her one visible eye.
“You stay here
and we’ll be right back!” Miss Nicole practically bounced out of the room, stopping
only to collect Miss Dana. “Come on, Dana, I brought all the stuff!” she said
to her cohort in a whisper loud enough to echo throughout the library. She left
the room, dragging Miss Dana along, whose eye had a look of alarm in it.
“I will leave you
to it,” Mother Merry said. “I have some matters to which I must attend. Sister
Dominic--”
“Dominique,”
Sister Dominique corrected her.
“--you’re in
charge.” Mother Merry paused at the door. “Oh, and see me later about that
burning smell in the recreation room...”
“Yes, Mother
The children
listened to Nicole and Dana shuffling around just out of sight behind the open
doorway, Miss Nicole’s hissed instructions, and the occasional grunt of protest
from Miss Dana.
Miss Nicole
reappeared, wearing a glittering plastic tiara, white gloves, and a frilly skirt
over her pleated one, holding a book of children’s stories in her hands.
“Hello, children!”
Miss Nicole trilled. “I am the Princess of Stories, and Miss Nicole sent me to
entertain you tonight!”
Silence. Elsbeth’s
look of disgust could have killed a charging rhinoceros; Gretchen frantically
tried to figure out which limb she needed to chew off in order to escape; Nephri
was scowling with concentration, trying to decide if Miss Nicole could actually
be a princess, and if so, from which dynasty; Kiku was discreetly searching the
other girls’ faces for clues, wondering if this was some American “cosplay”
thing she did not understand, or merely advanced mental illness on display; and
Mopsy decided to turn into mist and seep out under the doorway, but couldn’t
remember precisely how to do that.
“And here to help
me tonight is my friend, the Story Fairy!” Miss Nicole continued, gesturing to
the open door. Nothing happened. “The Story Fairy!” she said again. She
beckoned with increasingly urgent jerks of her head, until she stood and bodily
dragged Miss Dana -- resplendent in a pair of fairy wings tied over her
sweatshirt and holding a plastic wand with a rhinestone-encrusted star at the
end -- into the room.
“Look, kids, it’s
the Story Fairy! Say hello to the children, Story Fairy!”
Miss Dana sank
into a low crouch and shifted her head so her hair covered both eyes. The words
“somebody kill me” mumbled out from under.
“So before we
begin,” the Princess of Stories continued, “do any of you delightful young
ladies have any questions?”
Elsbeth raised a
hand. “Yes. Have either of you sought professional help?”
“Oh, but we are
professionals, silly, just you wait and see!” Miss Nicole said. “Now, Story
Fairy, you must tap the storybook with your magic wand, and let the magic of
the stories come to life!”
Miss Dana’s eye
reappeared from under her hair to spear Miss Nicole with an “are you serious?”
look, then she gave in and hit the book with a listless swat of her wand,
sending a loose rhinestone flying.
“And our first
story tonight,” the Princess of Stories began, opening her book, “is the ‘Three
Little Pigs.’” She cleared of her throat, and began in an overly-dramatic voice:
“There once were three little pigs, all brothers, who lived in the woods...”
“Um, if I may
interrupt for a moment, Miss, um, Princess,” Sister Dominique said, with the
air of a person trying to stop a train wreck by stepping onto the tracks with
her hands out. “You may have noticed that our girls are fifth-graders. That
story may be a bit young for them, perhaps? I’m sure, if we search
around a bit, we could find a more advanced book that we can all enjoy.”
“Oh, but Sister,
these stories are fun for children of all ages,” Miss Nicole replied,
undeflected. “Plus they teach important moral lessons.”
Miss Nicole
(sorry, the Princess of Stories) plowed onward with an emotional rendition of
the Three Little Pigs. In her favor, Gretchen and Nephri had never heard it,
and listened attentively; Gretchen in particular when she found out there was a
wolf in it.
“And so the other
two pigs went to live with their brother, who had built his house of brick.
When the big bad wolf appeared, he went up to the door and said,” and here Miss
Nicole went into her deep, gruff, wolf-voice, “‘Little pigs, little pigs, let
me in,’ he growled.” Then she went into her twee piggy voice, “‘Not by the hair
of my chinny-chin-chin!’ said the three little pigs. So the wolf said, ‘Then
I’ll huff and I’ll puff, and I’ll blow your house in!’...”
Gretchen, who had
become increasingly confused and agitated as the story wore on, finally spoke
up. “No!” she barked.
Miss Nicole did a
double-take that, had it been accompanied by a sound-effect, would have sounded
like a needle scraping across a record. “Um, excuse me?”
“Wolves don’t
hunt like that!” Gretchen said emphatically.
“Well, um,” Miss
Nicole began, but got no further.
She looked over
to the Story Fairy for help, but Miss Dana was sitting on the floor with her
legs out, her single visible eye looking on with amusement.
Gretchen scooted
forward, studying the illustration intently.
“Set up an ambush,”
she said, pointing. “Main group here, concealed in the bushes, downwind
so pigs don’t smell us. Second group here. Pack leader here.
Second group attacks back door. Pigs try to escape through front door. Pounce!”
“Um, Gretchen,
dear,” Miss Nicole said, “I think you’re missing the point...”
“No, wait, that’d
work,” Mopsy said, studying Gretchen’s plan. “Look, the minute the pigs got five
feet from the door they’d be cut off from the safety of the house.”
“And the pack
leader would drive them right into the wolves concealed in the bushes,” Nephri
noted.
“Excellent strategy,”
Kiku remarked, nodding. “The great samurai general Tokugawa used a similar
approach during the siege of
“Looks like pork
chops for dinner tonight,” Elsbeth said.
“Perhaps something
else,” Miss Nicole said hurriedly, pulling the book away and flipping the page.
“Ah, ‘The Itsy-Bitsy Spider,’” she said.
Miss Nicole
proceeded to relate, in verse and primitive sign language, how an itsy-bitsy
spider repeatedly crawled up a waterspout, only to be washed away again and
again by the rain.
“Such a pointless
cycle of meaningless activity,” Mopsy mumbled, “symbolic of humanity’s futile struggle
against a cold, unfeeling universe.”
“Um, how about
this story,” Miss Nicole said, a note of desperation creeping into her voice.
“Little Miss Muffet, sat on her tuffet, eating her-- yes, um, Kiku?”
“Please excuse my
poor English,” Kiku said, “but what is a ‘tuffet’?”
“Her butt,” Mopsy
said. She noticed everyone looking at her. “What? She sat on her butt.”
Elsbeth sniffed.
“It’s probably a small decorative garden bench,” she said, “and I bet it’s really
supposed to be pronounced ‘tuff-FAY’ like it’s French or something.”
“Little Miss
Muffet sat on her tuffet...” Miss Nicole bulled through, resolutely.
“Tuff-FAY,”
Elsbeth corrected her.
“...eating her
curds and whey...”
“Looks like
goop,” Mopsy remarked, looking at the illustration.
“Please excuse
me,” Kiku said, “but what are ‘curds’?”
“Nomadic people
native to the
“And ‘whey’?”
Kiku asked.
“Tells how heavy
something is!” Gretchen said, pleased she knew the answer to something.
Kiku scowled, thoroughly
confused.
“Get to the part
with the spider,” Mopsy prompted.
“Along came a
spider,” Miss Nicole continued, “who sat down beside her, and frightened Miss
Muffet away!”
“Arachnophobia,”
Kiku intoned, nodding. “Fear of spiders. A terrible affliction.”
“Does it say what
kind of spider?” Nephri asked. “In
“Do they look
like this?” Mopsy asked, pulling the book away from Miss Nicole and showing
Nephri the illustration.
“No,” Nephri
conceded. “They do not wear little bowties.”
Gretchen looked
over the spider curiously. “This spider same spider from before?” she asked.
“What do you
mean?” Kiku asked.
“Up the
waterspout?” Gretchen asked. “Itsy-bitsy?”
“Hey, maybe,”
Mopsy said.
“Then he is
probably just wet,” Nephri said, “and crawled up on the tuffet to get dry.”
“Tuff-FAY,”
Elsbeth insisted.
“And this Muffet girl
screams and flings her goop and runs away from him,” Mopsy said. “What a little
wench.”
“Unforgivably rude!”
Kiku agreed.
“She deserves a
kick in her tuffet,” Nephri added.
“Tuff-FAY,”
Elsbeth said.
“How about another
story?” Miss Nicole chirped, snatching the book back with a bit more violence
than she intended.
The girls
listened intently, but at the end, Mopsy had one observation.
“I’m just
saying,” Mopsy was just saying, “I mean, think about it: lips red as blood,
skin white as snow, she’s dead in a glass coffin, then she comes back...”
“Snow White was not
a VAMPIRE!” Miss Nicole shrieked. She calmed herself with a visible
effort, then continued: “Ah! Here’s a story that all young girls enjoy,” she
said, defying any contradiction, “‘Cinderella.’”
Miss Nicole launched
into the classic tale with a desperate gusto, and this time there were no
interruptions. Perhaps the girls had gotten the idea that the Princess of
Stories might just explode if they continued to interrupt, or perhaps the story
of the orphaned child forced to live among the ashes cut a bit too close to
their current situation. However, near the end, there was one question that
needed answering.
“This always
bothered me,” Elsbeth said. “The Prince would marry whichever girl fit
her foot in the glass slipper? That’s what he wanted? Little feet?”
“Sounds like this
Prince was a bit weird,” Mopsy remarked.
“No, this is
quite true!” Kiku piped up. “In
“Oh, Kiku, that
is not true,” Miss Nicole said, tucking her perfect little size-fours under her
chair and out of sight. “Your feet are small and lovely. Tell you what,” she
continued, closing the book. “Perhaps Sister Dominique is right, these stories
are a bit too young for you. Why don’t you and Elsbeth look for some other
storybooks for us to enjoy.”
Elsbeth sighed
and stood. “Come on, Koo-Koo,” she said, “let’s all four of us go look for some
other books.”
“All four of us?”
Kiku asked, standing.
“Yes,” Elsbeth
replied. “Me, your big ugly feet, and you.”
“How cruel is my
fate, to have such big ugly feet,” Kiku said, following. “And my name is
pronounced ‘Kiku.’ It means ‘chrysanthemum.’ Very feminine. Very traditional.”
They headed out toward
one of the darkened outer rooms. It took them a while to work their way through
the maze of bookshelves, but after a short time, the rest of the group saw a stuttering
light go on in one of the far rooms.
Miss Nicole was
letting Gretchen paw through the book, pointing out illustrations of interest.
Gretchen’s face became more and more neutral -- her version of a frown -- as
she scanned the stories.
“Why is the wolf
always bad?” she asked quietly.
“Oh, because
wolves are big and scary and wicked!” Miss Nicole said. “They’d eat you up as
soon as look at you!”
Gretchen’s face
had gone completely stony, and Sister Dominique had her hand up to her mouth,
afraid of how Gretchen might react. But Gretchen simply put the book back in
Miss Nicole’s hands and retreated to her seat, looking at nothing.
“Um, Gretchen,
dear...?” Miss Nicole said, horrified that she’d wounded Gretchen’s feelings
but clueless as to how.
“Um, perhaps
Mother Superior neglected to mention Gretchen’s special circumstances,” Sister Dominique
began, but a soft voice interrupted her.
“Because people
are afraid, that’s why.”
Everyone looked
over at Miss Dana, who was sitting on the floor, forgotten by everyone. She
shifted her head, and her eye peeped out from behind her hair, looking at
Gretchen.
“The people who
made up those stories were simple villagers and herdsmen,” Miss Dana explained.
“The only wolves they ever saw were vicious ones that came out from the forests
to invade their towns and farms. Did you notice that in the stories the wolves
are always alone? What wolf hunts alone? Most likely these were rabid animals, driven
out of their packs.”
Gretchen looked
up and met Miss Dana’s eye.
“Rabies is a
horrible disease, makes an animal crazy, scary, unpredictable,” Miss Dana
continued. “But that was the only wolf the story writers knew, so when they
needed a threat, something scary for a story, they put in a wolf. Sure, real
wolves are powerful and dangerous, but not crazy. Someone who acts crazy and
scary isn’t a good representative of their species, y’know?” At this, her eye
threw a meaningful look at Miss Nicole, who was in hushed conversation with
Sister Dominique. “Some of us know better. I think wolves are kind of cool,
myself.”
Gretchen looked
up at Miss Dana, her stone look softening, when Miss Nicole chimed in.
“Gretchen, dear,
I’m so sorry, I had no idea,” Miss Nicole crooned, agonized. “I was talking
about the made-up wolves in the stories, not about your, um, wolf-mommy and
wolf-daddy. If you can forgive me, I’d still like to be your friend.”
Gretchen glanced
over at Miss Dana, who gave her a single, subtle nod.
“OK!” Gretchen
said, and bounded over to page through the book again as if the past five
minutes had never happened.
“One thing I’ve
learned about Gretchen,” Sister Dominique observed, “is that she appears
incapable of holding a grudge. Something we in the ‘people-world’ could stand
to learn.”
There was a
commotion from the far room.
“Mopsy, dear,”
Sister Dominique said, “why don’t you go see what’s become of Elsbeth and
Kiku?”
“Because I don’t
care what’s become of Elsbeth and Kiku,” Mopsy said simply. Sister Dominique gave
her a look that Mopsy didn’t think her kindly face could make, and Mopsy hopped
to her feet and said, “Sorry, thought it was a real question. If I do not
return, avenge my death.”
In the far room,
Elsbeth was leaning against the wall twirling an old-fashioned key on her
finger. Across from her was a tall bookcase with a set of closed doors, rocking
violently.
“I don’t know,
Kiku,” Elsbeth was saying, in tones of mock effort. “The key just won’t turn,
it must be stuck!”
“Try jiggling
it!” came Kiku’s agitated voice from inside the bookcase. The doors rattled. “Get
me out of here!”
“Honestly,
Koo-koo,” Elsbeth said. “How are you going to explain to Mother Superior you got
yourself locked in a bookcase?”
“You said there
were books in here!” Kiku protested, “and that I should go in because I am
smaller! How could you let the doors close on me like that? And my name is
pronounced ‘Kiku’!”
“Sister would
like to know what’s going on here,” Mopsy said. “And I bet Kiku would, too.”
“It means
‘chrysanthemum’!” Kiku shouted from inside the bookcase. “Very feminine! Very
traditional!”
“The key still
won’t turn!” Elsbeth said, admiring the key placidly. Her voice was full of
concern, but her face wasn’t. “You just stay there, I’ll go find Sister
Dominique...”
“Hrng!
Never mind that,” Kiku said, “stand away from the doors!”
“What?” Elsbeth
said.
“HIIIYAAAAA!”
With a loud crash,
the doors blew off their hinges as if they’d been dynamited, followed by Kiku’s
small and lovely foot. The foot withdrew, and Kiku emerged from the darkness of
the bookcase.
Elsbeth was
stupidly holding the key in her hand. Kiku’s eyes went from the key, to
Elsbeth’s surprised face, to Mopsy. Recovering, Elsbeth stuffed the key into
Mopsy’s hand.
“She did it!”
Elsbeth said, pointing.
Kiku’s face
darkened. Her voice, when she spoke, was a deadly hiss: “So! I suppose you found
locking me in the bookcase very amusing! I thought you two were my friends, and
you conspire against me!”
“Me?” Mopsy said.
“I just got here.”
“Outrageous!” Kiku
exclaimed. “Inexcusable!”
“Put a sock in it,
Koo-koo,” Elsbeth said. “I really was trying to turn the key, I just backed
away when you said to get away from the doors, and took the key with me by
accident.”
“I-do-not-believe-you!”
Kiku said angrily.
It was Elsbeth’s
turn to get angry. “Are you calling me a liar?” she demanded.
“I am!”
Mopsy, meanwhile,
had stopped watching the argument and was looking curiously at something behind
Kiku.
“Um, excuse me--”
Mopsy mumbled, but the other girls ignored her.
“Is that so?”
Elsbeth said. “How about I bounce you on your little samurai head?”
“I would like to
see you try, you--” and then Kiku spat out a string of rapid-fire Japanese that
did not need translation for anyone to know she was calling Elsbeth some very
rude names.
“--but if I may
interrupt a moment--” Mopsy continued.
“Oh, yeah?”
Elsbeth said. “Bring it, you little ninja-com-poop, I’ll punt you all the way back
to
“I-am-not-from-Tokyo!”
Kiku shrieked, “I am from a small village in
“--I have
something to say that will settle this argument.” Mopsy finished.
Kiku and Elsbeth
whirled on Mopsy. “WHAT?” they yelled in unison.
“The bookcase is
about to fall on us,” Mopsy said.
On cue, there was
an ominous groan from the bookcase. Kiku, who had her back to it, whipped
around; the three girls watched as the tall bookcase rocked back and forth,
then started a majestic descent toward the very spot where they were standing.
Kiku turned
around again. “Elsbeth, I suggest we continue our disagreement from a place of
safety!”
“I’m with you,”
Elsbeth agreed.
The two girls
bolted for the doorway, leaving Mopsy standing there. Mopsy went “Hey!” and
turned to join them, but as the bookcase tipped forward, a heavy old book slid
off the top of the bookcase and hit Mopsy in the midriff. She caught it out of
instinct and fell on her backside with an “oof!” The book fell open in her lap,
and a random line of print appeared in Mopsy’s view:
A
warm breeze, scented with honeysuckle, blew across the edge of the enchanted
forest.
She felt
it: a warm breeze puffed across her face and stirred her hair, the smell of
flowers filled her nose, and she could hear the rustle of trees. It was just a
split-second flash, like a snapshot.
Then the bookcase
fell.
“MOPSY!”
Kiku and Elsbeth screamed from the doorway, then covered their eyes as the
bookcase came down with a huge crash.
A white-hot rush
of terror and disbelief washed over Elsbeth and Kiku, until they heard Mopsy’s
mumbling voice say, “Hey guys, look at this...”
They opened their
eyes. The heavy bookcase had hit the opposite wall and smashed a hole clean
through it, hanging up on the debris and stopping an inch from Mopsy’s head.
Mopsy was sitting where she had landed, covered in plaster dust, looking at an
old book in her lap, completely oblivious to her near-miss with crushing book-case
death.
“It’s a book,”
she said.
And so it was: a
large, heavy volume with a plain red cover, with no title or author printed on
the cover or spine, and the first ten pages or so appeared to have been torn
out.
Mopsy scuttled out
from under the bookcase on both knees and one hand, clutching the book to her
chest with the other. The other two girls ran up to meet her halfway.
“You are unhurt?”
Kiku asked urgently.
“Idiot,” Elsbeth
said. “Why didn’t you run when we did?”
“Never mind that,
check this out,” Mopsy said, standing. She opened the book in front of Elsbeth
and Kiku. Another random line of print appeared in their line of vision:
The
valley was filled with the rumble of thundering hooves.
They heard the galloping
horses, felt the rumble under their feet, felt the rush of wind through their
hair. Mopsy shut the book again, and it was gone.
The other two
girls blinked.
“Hey, I felt it,”
Elsbeth marveled. “It was like horseback riding.”
“How did you do
that?” Kiku asked.
Mopsy did her
little one-shoulder shrug. “It’s the book, I guess.”
Gretchen and
Nephri appeared in the doorway.
“What happened?”
Nephri asked. “We heard a noise.”
“Big loud crashy
sound!” Gretchen said.
“Get in here and
look at this,” Elsbeth said. “Mopsy, show them the book.”
Mopsy opened the
book again.
The
dragon swooped, breathing fire.
The five girls
ducked as they sensed something huge and powerful zooming just over their
heads, saw the shadow race over where they stood, felt the blast of heat from
dragon fire against their face. Mopsy shut the book and the sensation stopped.
Gretchen jumped
back. “Big flying lizard!” she barked.
Nephri was
touching her face. She’d felt the heat. “Wow! Is this a modern thing,
like television?”
“No, not even TV
can do that,” Elsbeth remarked.
“It’s this book,”
Mopsy said. “It was way up on top of the bookcase. Pretty cool, huh?”
Whether or not
the other girls thought it was pretty cool would have to wait. The sound of
running feet, followed by a short shriek, interrupted them from the doorway.
“Oh mercy!”
Sister Dominique exclaimed breathlessly. She took in the devastation with eyes
widening to the size of soup plates. “Are you children all right? What in
heaven’s name happened here?” she demanded.
“Um, we found a
book, Sister,” Mopsy said.
The other girls
nodded and pointed to the book in Mopsy’s hands, helpfully.
“How did the
bookcase fall?” Sister Dominique asked.
“It was Kiku’s fault,”
Elsbeth said. “She kicked the doors off.”
“Because you
locked me inside it!” Kiku retorted angrily.
The two girls
erupted into an argument, but Sister Dominique cut them off instantly.
“Now both of you
listen to me!” she said, with a sharpness that shocked the both of them into
silence. “I do not care whose fault it is! You could have been seriously injured!
And just look at the amount of damage you’ve caused! How am I going to explain
this to Mother Superior? When she sees this she -- she -- she’s standing right
behind me, isn’t she?”
Sure enough, Mother
Merry stood framed in the doorway. She walked in without a word, picking her
way carefully around the debris.
“Was anyone
hurt?” she asked simply.
“No, Mother
Superior,” Sister Dominique said.
“Good, then,”
Mother Merry said.
Nicole and Dana
appeared. Nicole had her hand over her mouth, but it took Dana a moment to take
in the scene; she saw what had happened and gasped, her one visible eye staring
at the plaster-dust-covered Mopsy, looking horrified. Mother Merry put a gentle
hand on her shoulder.
“Do not concern
yourself, Dana,” Mother Merry said. “The children have not been injured.”
Mother Merry looked into Dana’s face -- or what was available of it behind her
hair. Dana nodded.
Mother Merry
turned and looked down at the five girls. It was like being in the focus of a
blurry laser. She reached down and gently, but firmly, took the book from
Mopsy’s hands. She examined it briefly, then tucked it under arm, and turned to
leave.
Mopsy saw the wondrous
book leaving and piped, “Mother Superior...!”
Mother Merry
turned to her, expectantly.
Mopsy made the
words come out of her mouth: “May we have our book back?”
“You may not,”
Mother Merry replied. “I’d think we’ve had enough entertainment for one
evening. Get yourselves to bed.”
Mother Merry turned and walked out the
door, Dana watching her owlishly. As Mother Merry stepped over the threshold, carrying
the book away, the bookcase collapsed the rest of the way to the ground,
splintering into its component boards.